By Tournament / Guinness Premiership

Perfect preparation for their trip to Leicester Tigers, Northampton Saints have been kicked in the nuts with news that recent signing Neil Best has been banned for 18 weeks, after admitting to illegally making contact with the eye-area of Wasps' James Haskell.

The Irish international cannot pick up a rugby ball in anger until January 28 and will miss eight rounds of Premiership action as well as all their European Challenge Cup and EDF Energy Cup pool fixtures.

There's obviously something in the Northampton water, with Dylan Hartley suspended for 6 months following a similar incident.

Not only are they unbeaten and top of the Guinness Premiership but Sale Sharks have secured further recognition for their cracking start to the season by securing both the Guinness Premiership Director of Rugby and Player of the Month Awards.

Philippe Saint Andre and Luke McAllister bagged the inaugural gongs of the season, becoming the first team in the 11 year history of the league to play four consecutive matches without conceding a try.

McAllister pipped Charlie Hodgson to the award while Leicester Tigers' Tom Croft and their new coach Heyneke Meyer were also mentioned.

What's all this midweek nonsense?

Because of the British Lions isn't it....

Gets more like football every day...

What uneducated, Prada-wearing ponces?

Like Ronaldo?

We've got Cipriani but he's Armani anyway...

Isn't he back this week?

Straight in at fly-half. Jeremy Staunton will be gutted but there hasn't been this much excitement over a British sportsman since Kevin Pietersen appeared on our boxes with skunk hair.

Bath haven't won three on the bounce away from home since 2004 I see...

That's right and with Messrs Reddan, Payne and Ibanez all back in contention I can see that run continuing.

Speaking of the runs... I bet Olly Barkley's cacking it...

Jonny's in town and coupled with Gloucester's 0-6 record on a Tuesday night not even Scott Lawson's debut at hooker could raise a smile.

Philippe Saint-Andre must be tres contente sur la moment...

Only 70 minutes to go and they break Wasps' record that has stood since 2000 but London Irish haven't lost consecutive games at the Madejski since October 2006, so the returning Mark Cueto and Andrew Sheridan will have their work cut out.

Is there any light at the end of the tunnel for Bristol?

If they stay up, Adrian Jarvis deserves (and Richard Hill) the key to the city, as much of the onus will fall on his right boot.  At least he won't  have injured former All-Black Chris Jack running at him against Saracens but a tenth successive defeat would hit like a sledgehammer.

I bet that's been the type of reaction in Leicester this week...

Northampton Saints were the last team to inflict successive home losses at Welford Road and that was back in 2003. Ben Foden will get a stern examination from Harry Ellis who joins Danny Hipkiss in the starting line-up.

Predictions...

Gloucester v Newcastle: Gloucester end their midweek mess
Wasps v Bath: Cipriani bags the headlines
Bristol v Saracens: Saracens make it 10/10
London Irish v Sale Sharks: London Irish cross the line
Leicester Tigers v Northampton Saints: Tigers hold bragging rights
Worcester Warriors v Harlequins: Harlequins inconsistencies on the up...

No booze, no late nights, no playboy. That was Danny Cipriani's message to the group of breathless journalists waiting with baited breath for confirmation that England's golden-boy will take the field against Bath.

Abiding to the good word from one of his favourite artists Kanye West - better, faster, stronger (Not that Kelly Brook would agree) - Cipriani is not only the envy of every hot-blooded male but also his teammates, coaches and professional athlete.

"Lucky bastard... I never pulled birds like that," joked Sean Edwards, who insisted he'd never met a more dedicated sportsman than Cipriani and shelled claims that his new-found stardom might go to his head.

One snag the 20-year-old could have to overcome is the RFU's short-sighted policy that doesn't permit the fly-half playing in the autumn. We're sure there was some small print at the footer of the agreement in Webdings font size 2 .