By Tournament / Guinness Premiership

Down at the Guinness Premiership launch at the oh so swanky Park Lane Hilton, most of the monotonous merry-go-round was about as entertaining as a rainy weekend in Margate, but praise the lord for Eddie Jones.

A positive spin on the Experimental Law Variations is as rare as an endorsement of Paris Hilton’s pop career - even Barrack Obama would struggle to turn the new laws into gold - and the latest scathing attack on the ELVs has hit harder and deeper than the Titanic plundered into the Atlantic.

Saracens boss, Jones, pointed rugby’s sinking ship to similar mire to cricket’s voyage into reality sports television.

Most of the Guinness Premiership bosses took a somewhat more Tony Blair approach to diplomacy, but Jones launched himself so far off the fence, humpty dumpty didn't fall as fast.

"The important thing is to improve rugby. To judge the ELVs you have to ask 'have they made the game better?"' Jones argued.

"Better does not necessarily mean more entertaining. If you want entertainment, you watch Twenty20 cricket. We don't want rugby to be Twenty20 cricket.

"That has to be the judgment line. These changes have been made with a view to entertainment, not to improving rugby.”

Why couldn’t he just say ‘if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.’

There’s been Facebook groups, forum protests and widespread calls for the Guinness Premiership to come back to terrestrial television and guess what?  Your prayers have been answered.

Premier Rugby, Guinness and ITV have joined forces to give the world’s top domestic league a regular hourly highlights spot on Sundays at 6:30pm.

Anchored by Irish nice guy Craig Doyle AKA ‘you may know me from such programmes as Tomorrow’s World, Diggit and Holiday,’ all 22 rounds will be covered with extended highlights of the semi-finals and final… All on ITV 4 - so get down to Lidl and buy your set top box.

On the same day Rob Andrew took a pop at the state of the national game, only a stones-throw away from his office at HQ, across the A316, and Harlequins were providing fierce arguments against the motion.

Seemingly intent on becoming London's premier outfit (if geographically they are London's only side), Dean Richards' boys made a giant step to realising their goal by shifting their Christmas cracker against heavyweights Leicester Tigers to Twickenham on December 27.

Chief executive Mark Evans remembers days when club games attracted no more than 3,000, but the club's ambitions indicate how far the game has moved on since amateurism and days of loose fitting jerseys.

Quins chose against taking a lion’s share of the pot on offer for the Guinness Premiership's curtain raising London Double Header, and seem well placed to take a greater portion of the spoils in the capital, if the club's off-field aspirations continue to match the club’s mounting hopes on the pitch.

Leicester Tigers - fan hold your horses - are in discussions to bring the enigmatic Fijian wing Rupeni Caucaunibuca to Welford Road.

Caucau comes with his fair share of baggage (We're talking about a guy who's as predictable as the British weather here) for he once blamed missing a flight to Samoa on his wife's infected tooth, not to mention rumours of tropical viruses, and positive tests of cannabis abuse.

Leicester face stiff competition from the NSW Waratahs for the 28-year-old's signature who when fit is often described as the world's best player.

David Strettle delivered Martin Johnson a firm message after being overlooked for England’s 32-man Elite squad by powering Harlequins to Middlesex Sevens glory.

A star-studded Harlequins won their first title for 18 years with England duo Strettle and Mike Brown both catching the eye, proving the short journey across the A316 was clearly worth the trouble.

After trouncing Leeds Carnegie in the opening round, the boys from the Stoop swept past the Sale Sharks to set up a semi-final tie with holders Newcastle.

Strettle’s double ensured a new name would be on the trophy as the Falcons fell at the penultimate hurdle.

On the other side of the draw, the British Army, packed with a plethora of South Sea Islanders, breezed past the Leicester Tigers in the last-eight after getting off to a sluggish start against eventual Plate winners, Saracens.

Electric Fijian talent Apolesi Satala bagged a brace against a bedazzled Tigers outfit in the last eight before four scores saw off a youthful Gloucester side in the semi-finals.

So the stage was set for a showcase of final flair and the colourful Twickenham crowd would not be disappointed.

Despite a narrow two point deficit at the break, Harlequins conserved enough energy with England full-back Brown touching down for his second try of the match and the day’s MVP, Strettle seizing victory for a 14th time and their first Russell Cargill Cup since 1990.

Results


Dragons 19 London Irish 28 
Newcastle Falcons 21 Northampton Saints 12 
Harlequins 27 Leeds Carnegie 0 
Sale Sharks 26 Ospreys 5 
Gloucester 24 Bath 5 Worcester Warriors 21 Bristol 12 
Leicester Tigers 19 Wasps 14 
Saracens 12 British Army 22 



Plate Quarter-Finals: 

Dragons 14 Northampton Saints 29 
Leeds Carnegie 33 Ospreys 7 
Bath 10 Bristol 21 
Wasps 10 Saracens 34 



Cup Quarter-Finals:

London Irish 7 Newcastle Falcons 40 
Harlequins 21 Sale Sharks 12 
Gloucester 31 Worcester Warriors 14 
Leicester Tigers 7 British Army 31 


Plate Semi-Finals: 


Northampton Saints 25 Leeds Carnegie 17 
Bristol 12 Saracens 31 



Cup Semi-Finals: 


Newcastle Falcons 14 Harlequins 29 
Gloucester 10 British Army 24 



Plate Final
Northampton Saints 7 Saracens 26 



Grand Final
Harlequins 22 British Army 12