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Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Don Clarke: Makes Iain Balshaw look like Minnie Mouse...

There have been a few prodigious goal-kickers in our time, but only one has earned the nickname, 'The Boot.'

Monday, November 03, 2008


Jerry Collins: 'We'll need another plate!'

Ask any rugby player who they'd least like to meet down a dark alley and Jerry Collins would either top, or sit a close close second behind Sebastien Chabal. This week we celebrate his 28th birthday.

One of the most destructive tacklers in the game and a headless chicken in the loose, the sight of the former All-Black blindside [with a pint of Guinness for a haircut] running at opposition lines without a care for limb, bone or his sanity was a lethal feature of the rugby world.

As well as knocking out Colin Charvis in 2003 and spending pre-season training as a dustbin man [taking it far too literally on the field too], Collins captained the All-Blacks on three of his 48 caps, scoring five tries in total.

Also this week, Britain raises a glass or two of Mulled wine to 1605 gunpowder-plotter Guy Fawkes -  any excuse for a piss-up. Elsewhere, America handed one of its greatest presidents the ultimate power in 1860, when a sweep in the north led former Illinois farm boy Abraham Lincoln into the White House. Needless to say, he was more popular than Bill 'show me the ladies' Clinton (inducted in 1996, second term).

And it's Buon Compleanno! while toasting a glass of Chianti to the most violent man on an English rugby pitch, Danny Grewock (36); his polar-opposite, Tom Croft (23); England wing and general nice bloke, Paul Sackey (29); and Welsh man-mountain Jamie Roberts (22)

Thursday, October 23, 2008


David Campese: 'You should lose a few pounds Will!'

Pele, Bradman, Jordan, sportsfans love a flair-player and sidestep, swerve and goose-steping their way into this week in rugby history, we celebrate two of the oval ball's best, Phillip Bennett (60) and David Campese (46).

Bennett's feats for the British Lions - 103 points on the 1974 holy grail tour of South Africa - had kids studying his every move while Campo - Man of the Tournament at the 1991 World Cup - clocked up 101 caps on Australia's wing to the tune of a world record setting 64 tries.

Both geniuses were equally as endearing for their chat, especially at the expense of the English. Bennett's Welsh team-talk is etched into rugby folklore, riling the troops by claiming "we've been exploited, raped, controlled and punished by the English." And Campese said "I wouldn't play for England even if you paid me.”

Also, on this day in 1707, the first Parliament of Great Britain held its first meeting at Westminster, and the Whigs, Courts, Tories and Squadrones did a lot of bickering. Remaining in political warfare, Henry V and the English did a number over the French at Agincourt in 1415.

And it's 'Cosmopolitan's all round' for Ireland's greatest ginger Paul O'Connell (29), fellow Celt Andrew Trimble (24), the voice of rugger Bill McLaren (85), Campo's arch-nemesis Jeff Wilson (35), softly spoken Aussie Michael Lynagh (35) and Craig 'Jethro' Dowd (39).

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Freddie Michalak: 'Switching phone numbers was a bad idea'

This week in rugby history we celebrate the life and times of mercurial Frenchman, Freddie Michalak. He's appeared in advertisements for Nike, Manix condoms and Levis and even has a massive female and gay following. His popularity in Toulouse is Beckhamesque but his artistry far outweighs the playmaker's genius talents. If Danny Cipriani has a role model, it's more Michalak than Wilkinson.

This week Michalak turns 26 and will run out for the Sharks in the Currie Cup final before returning to his congregation in the south of France. Making his Toulouse debut aged 17, it only took another four years before he ran out for the first of his fifty caps for les tricolores.

He's been stabbed in the hand with a fork by Fabien Pelous and his naughty schoolboy antics are Toulousain folklore. His story is one of both beauty and the beast, but we love a character at ScrumoftheEarth.

Elsewhere, in 54 AD Emperor Nero, the inspiration behind Lawrence Dallaglio's middle name, was elevated to the throne as Roman emperor, giving rise to athletic games such Gladiators and chariot racing. And in 1987, Michael Fish signed himself up for a hurricane of public service criticism for being far too flippant about the biggest British storm to hit since 1703.

And it's Manuia lou aso fanau as they say in Samoa to South Africa's rampaging Ryan Kankowski (23); Aussie Tim-Tam, it's Timana Tahu (28; Irish hooker and landlord Jerry Flannery (30); and English rugby royalty, Mike Tindall (30).   

Thursday, October 09, 2008


Danie Craven: 'It was a joke boys'

This week we celebrate the life of Mr. Rugby, 'Doctor' Danie Craven, arguably one of the most influential figures in the history of world rugby.

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