Can't Dean Richards fly them in?
Two weeks ago, English rugby was in the gutter, slithering around the wastage from the curry-houses and dirty kebaberies. The French, plus ca change, whinging about the rest of Europe and how they aren't up to their impeccable standards.
Scotland, already thinking ahead to 2011 when surely they'll have a team capable of sticking the caber up the auld enemy's arse, even if they haven't got a club or province left in sight. The Irish, toasting the fact they have 30 of the best players in Europe - it's just a shame they only play for two teams, And the Welsh Ospreys, be it playing in red or black, continue to fly the flag.
It's amazing what can change in 80 minutes! The Heineken Cup reaches its fourth round and unless you're one of those prawn and cucumber sandwich snobs whose idea of top notch rugby is an all-dayer at Twickenham watching the national team get stuffed, then you'll savour every last tackle, knock-on or butchered try this weekend.
So if you're being dragged to IKEA and haven't had time to check the form, here's our guide to the weekend.
Claustrophobia...
Perpignan v Leicester: Dan Carter's debut. Why not join the thousands of people and the world's media for the commercial event of the year. The result is secondary for the Catalans - just make sure you get lots of photos.
Shock on the cards...Biarritz v Cardiff Blues: Slowly becoming our favourite Welsh second team, Biarritz will no doubt get screwed by an official at some point...
Try-watch...Treviso v Ospreys: If Tommy got five last week, Shane will be after six in Italy...
I'm washing my hair...Scarlets v Ulster: Friday nights will never be the same again... if the missus makes you stay in and watch it...
Best piss-up...Munster v Clermont Auvergne: Mix together the scariest, loudest bunch of fans on the planet with some passionate Frenchmen and the cocktails will be dripping from the rooftops...