By Country / Italy

Maximum points, five tries – job done – if only. The sobering result only told half of the story as Italy gift-wrapped a morale-boosting win for Martin Johnson’s cohorts and pointed towards a brighter spring following a dull, dreary and altogether dreadful autumn.

A win’s a win and it would be very English to be ungrateful for the belated present but the nervous cobwebs from hosting a record-breaking southern hemisphere festival clearly still lingers inside the stitches of every English jersey.

The Six Nations will teach Johnson a lot about the state of English rugby and his bright young things but the examinations and real tests will start in Cardiff in round two.

If these unimaginative laws persuade teams that death by territory is less painful than a valiant defeat in effort, then we might be onto something.

The mismatched clash became instantly dominated by long aimless punting with England happy to donate Italy possession, who were awaiting their punishment like a child caught stealing. If this was England’s blueprint for success, then it was spot on.

This was meant to be an Italian side arriving with serious ambitions of a first English Six Nations scalp. It played out more like 22 schoolboys dressed in blue just here to make up the numbers.

Italy resembled the basic skills and tactical nous of the local Richmond U8s at times and utilised the ball as if it were infested with a life-threatening disease.

Chief culprit was Mauro Bergamasco. Nick Mallett accepted full responsibility for his scrum-halves shocker but for such a player of outstanding quality, it must’ve felt like his limbs had all gone into meltdown. It was soul-destroying.

Equally as confusing as Mallett’s post-match press conference, perhaps M. Bergamasco’s position on the team-sheet was also misinterpreted by the Italian players.

How Mallett could do with one or two more Sergio Parisse’s? The outstanding skipper, like the bravest roman gladiators of the ancient era, would live and die for his team-mates and his public.

Parisse is the heartbeat of Italian rugby and although his passion and endeavour is only matched on occasions by his team-mates, there is unparalleled distinctions in quality.

Johnson reckons England "don't have a problem with indiscipline." Yeah, and Rob Andrew's found a cure for cancer?! Ten penalties in the first half suggests it’s more than just a petit addiction.

The positives? Man-of-the-match Harry Ellis, playing only his second game in eight weeks, twice kicked his heels to dive over, while Mark Cueto’s comeback was capped by polishing off some sweeping hands.

James Haskell managed to tarnish his best game in an England shirt with more evidence of his childish knack for a yellow-card.

Solid if unspectacular, Andy Goode got off to a dream start but unfortunately the next 79 minutes illustrated the seismic gap between a domestic kingpin and international lightweight.

This flawed one-sided contest won't live long in the memory, just like it won’t do much to inspire hours of meticulous video analysis but putting his pragmatists cap on, Johnson will be extremely satisfied for a first Test win.

Chris Paterson has been demoted to the bench by Scotland boss Frank Hadden while Edinburgh prop Geoff Cross is given a Test debut against Wales.

Cross comes in for the injured Euan Murray while Hugo Southwell is preferred at full-back.

In-form Glasgow flyer Thom Evans doesn't even make the twenty-two although brother Max is named amongst the substitutes.

As expected, Nathan Hines also misses out so Jason White shifts to the second-row alongside giant Jim Hamilton.

Scotland: 15 Hugo Southwell (Edinburgh), 14 Simon Webster (Edinburgh), 13 Ben Cairns (Edinburgh), 12 Graeme Morrison (Glasgow), 11 Sean Lamont (Northampton), 10 Phil Godman, 9 Mike Blair (capt), 8 Simon Taylor (Stade Francais), 7 John Barclay (Glasgow), 6 Ally Hogg (Edinburgh), 5 Jim Hamilton (Edinburgh), 4 Jason White (Sale), 3 Geoff Cross (Edinburgh), 2 Ross Ford (Edinburgh), 1 Allan Jacobsen (Edinburgh).

Replacements: 16 Dougie Hall (Glasgow), 17 Alastair Dickinson (Gloucester), 18 Kelly Brown (Glasgow), 19 Scott Gray (Northampton), 20 Chris Cusiter (Perpignan), 21 Chris Paterson (Edinburgh), 22 Max Evans (Glasgow).

Were you more nervous modeling than singing the Italy national anthem?

“Much worse. I get very nervous before a game. It’s normal because I think about a lot of pressure being on me but with the cameras flashing it’s a lot more nervous.”

Are you superstitious?

“Yes. I have worn the same mouth-guard since 2003. I always put the right boot on before my left boot and I listen to music after the match. I don’t like French dance music but I don’t have any special choice.”

What do you do to relax?

“I love parties. Paris is a lovely city. You can do whatever you want whatever the day. If it’s a Monday, you can go to a disco, and can wait until Sunday to go out, you can do everything every day. Paris is a 24-hour city and not like a small town where you have to go to the same restaurants or shops all of the time.

“There’s lots of variety and keeps you entertained. I like going to the cinema, shopping, going to the theatre, or maybe going to a spa and relaxing. I love good food, so maybe i’ll go out with my girlfriend three times a week.”

Did you have any difficulties with the language?

“I went to a boulangerie to buy a baguette and I didn’t know how you say it in French. I spoke a little bit of English, Italian and Spanish. I didn’t know what to say, “une pain, une baguette” and I tried really hard to use sign language and say, “you know une pain.”

“The first time it’s very difficult to buy something and have the confidence to go and speak to French people. I was like a caveman acting it out but now I speak good French and the language isn’t such a problem.”