By Tournament / Top 14

So the French beat us to the post just like they did with that Ceefax service..

Sure did, but at least a Brit came up with the internet...

It only seems like five minutes since Toulouse lifted the trophy...

I know - poor old journalists must be shattered and all Gauloise'd out.

So are Toulouse going to storm to the title...

Not if the opener's anything to go by. Montpellier stunned the champions with a sublime all-round performance epitomised by an athletic back-row effort from Messrs Picamoles, Ouedrago and Wasseman.

What about the other likely lads?

Stade Francais gave early evidence of their title ambitions as well as Dax's impending doom. It's going to be a long season, especially if they come up against more showings like Sergio Parisse's who bagged a brace of tries.

And Toulon? Is it just money for nothing?

The cheques won't be bouncing this week as Sonny Bill Williams proved he's just as worth it as Penelope Cruz with a debut try to spark a magnficent second-half comeback to see off Clermont Auvergne.

So who else starred?

The game of the opening night was in Castres where Bayonne continued their fine pre-season stuff with a shock one-point away victory. Individually, Valentin Courrent won the kicking duel with Benjamin Boyet as Biarritz beat the spirited Bourgoin boys. And Fijian flyer Vilimoni Delasau scored two of Montauban's four tries as they waltzed past Mont-de-Marsan while Perpignan warmed up for life with Dan Carter with a solid win over Brive.

Results

Biarritz 29-22 Bourgoin
Montauban 37-19 Mont-de-Marsan
Montpellier 16-11 Toulouse
Dax 9-31Stade Francais
Castres 26-27 Bayonne
Perpignan 34-18 Brive
Toulon 22-16 Clermont Auvergne

Isn't it hilarious. Rugby league asking union for help. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot - how painful would that be?

NRL chief David Gallop sent a letter to the IRB requesting assistance over the worrying precedent being set by Sonny Bill Williams' proposed exodus to Toulon, and expressed similar hope of the Australian Rugby Union in the media.

The IRB and ARU have sympathy with Gallop, but don't want anything to do with Williams, leaving legal action the only option left for the NRL.

French clubs fall under different jurisdictions, as they operate independently with private owners, hence why they are flooded with cash and private equity.

As Williams is effectively a league player, he is free to break his contract and switch codes.

What's going on in rugby league? Granted it must be pretty difficult hearing average players signing six-figure contracts in France with only a smattering of union experience in the back garden, but for Sonny Bill Williams to turn his back on the sport in his prime - could it be that rugby league is merely a supermarket for the richer union of rugby.

Williams -  New Zealand rugby league's version of Dan Carter - has sensationally walked out on the Canterbury Bulldogs to join the high-rollers at Toulon under the watchful eye of Tana Umaga.

He was only a year into a five-year-deal and was obviously unhappy, but is an argument with the girlfriend over who's cooking tea reason enough to set sail for the French Mediterranean and continue his fishbowl lifestyle surrounding by croissants, yachts and euromillionaires - it's not that tough being a chisled 22-year-old is it?

Not bothering to tell his teammates, clubmen or fans - it's a desperate loss for rugby league in general.

It sounds like someone on the run for murder rather than a lover's tiff. 24 hours before a massive clash and Williams is nowhere to be seen.

Over two years in Toulon, Williams will flush a whopping £1.45m into his bank-account.

NRL chief, David Gallop was left fuming and rightly so. Understandably disappointed that rugby is following in football's footsteps where contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on, Gallop said: "If he's not playing football with the Bulldogs, he won't be playing football, full stop. "

As if the IRB didn't have enough on their plate...