Scrum of the Earth /

Excited about the weekend? We are! Two southern hemisphere semi-finals, Cheryl Cole and the North-East derby rolled in. Oh and we get to say goodbye to Stradey Park - again and again and again - how long are they going to drag it on for? It's a ground. Get over it! Here's a few other things to look out for...

What are you up to this weekend? Perhaps going to the cinema? Cashing in on the credit crunch with 2 for 1 cocktails or maybe sticking pins in your eyes while the missus watches X-Factor? Well if you're not doing any of the above, add these little titbits to your schedule...

Things you might see...

Gloucester choking on another big-stage showdown...
The Danny Cipriani factor sweeps across Dublin with ladies queueing up...
Sebastien Chabal getting Paul O'Connell's ginger hair stuck in his beard...
Lewis Hamilton following in Gloucester's suit...
Jealous Scarlets fans buying the new Stade Francais shirt...

Things you definitely won't see...

Austin Healey wearing a full-sleeved shirt on Strictly Come Dancing
Madonna admitting she couldn't compete with Guy's love for London Wasps
Danny Cipriani letting Kelly Brook out of his sight in Dublin...
Crowds numbers dropping in the Heineken Cup...
Andy Robinson praising the referee...