Scrum of the Earth /

Ah, the World Cup hangover. Undulating waves of lethargy, nausea, and dysphoria coupled with piles of regret, shame and pain. We all know it so well, but where do the Springboks fit in?

Bladi Bladi Blah: Hardly! Feeling desperately ill but relatively chirpy with a huge sense of pride, constantly reminiscing about that cracking night in Paris and golden era’s - Every kiwi since 1987 then…

Torment tantrum: Flashbacks of worrying dialogue shared with tabloid journalists and close chums return with painstaking clarity reminding you of a litter of faux pas a la Lawrence Dallaglio.

Inspector remorse: Getting closer! Boring the pants off everyone with stories of how great you were just like Terry Wogan.

Insanely Tipper: Absolutely! Still riding on the crest of the wave - the ‘we’re still world champions approach’ - maintaining a mega chuffed attitude that until 2011 they’re still World Champions even if they plummet like a RyanAir pilot trying to land a plane in between.

Hang your head in shame: Only if you hate Pieter de Villiers! The Pete Docherty excuse of a patently clammy feeling that you are so far out of your depth and you can’t remember why, how or what it is.

Blame it on the boogie: The New Zealand concept! Blame the referee, linesman and anyone else who plotted your downfall with the idea of making a fool of you.