Scrum of the Earth /

So the French beat us to the post just like they did with that Ceefax service..

Sure did, but at least a Brit came up with the internet...

It only seems like five minutes since Toulouse lifted the trophy...

I know - poor old journalists must be shattered and all Gauloise'd out.

So are Toulouse going to storm to the title...

Not if the opener's anything to go by. Montpellier stunned the champions with a sublime all-round performance epitomised by an athletic back-row effort from Messrs Picamoles, Ouedrago and Wasseman.

What about the other likely lads?

Stade Francais gave early evidence of their title ambitions as well as Dax's impending doom. It's going to be a long season, especially if they come up against more showings like Sergio Parisse's who bagged a brace of tries.

And Toulon? Is it just money for nothing?

The cheques won't be bouncing this week as Sonny Bill Williams proved he's just as worth it as Penelope Cruz with a debut try to spark a magnficent second-half comeback to see off Clermont Auvergne.

So who else starred?

The game of the opening night was in Castres where Bayonne continued their fine pre-season stuff with a shock one-point away victory. Individually, Valentin Courrent won the kicking duel with Benjamin Boyet as Biarritz beat the spirited Bourgoin boys. And Fijian flyer Vilimoni Delasau scored two of Montauban's four tries as they waltzed past Mont-de-Marsan while Perpignan warmed up for life with Dan Carter with a solid win over Brive.

Results

Biarritz 29-22 Bourgoin
Montauban 37-19 Mont-de-Marsan
Montpellier 16-11 Toulouse
Dax 9-31Stade Francais
Castres 26-27 Bayonne
Perpignan 34-18 Brive
Toulon 22-16 Clermont Auvergne